How to Incorporate a Newborn Baby Into Your Wedding
This post originally appeared in Brides.com. Thanks for including my quotes!
A wedding is all about celebrating and expressing the special relationship you share with the love of your life. But what if you have two (or more!) people who, somehow, simultaneously mean more to you than anyone else? We're not talking about a complicated love-decagon situation a la The Bachelor; we mean the partner whom you call "baby" affectionately, and then your actual child.
"First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage?" Actually, not so much anymore. When you take into account second marriages, couples waiting longer to tie the knot, biological clocks, and the way the universe seems to love massive surprises every now and again, it's not unusual for couples to deviate from what tradition dictates when it comes to family planning.
So, what's a couple to do when trying to figure out how to include a baby in their wedding ceremony? Is it even possible to incorporate your bundle of joy into any portion of your big day? Ahead, we spoke with planner Lindsey Nickel to answer these questions and learn about the best ways to easily have your newborn (12 months or less) be a part of your nuptials. Be sure to take notes!
If we haven’t met yet, hi! I’m Lindsey Nickel and I’m a local Napa wedding planner and the owner of Lovely Day Events. My team and I have planned more than 140 destination weddings, so I can tell you firsthand that wine country weddings are something special. My clients want the ceremony to be outside, the food to be outstanding, and the dance parties to be epic. If this sounds like you, you’re in the right place.
Tips for Incorporating a Newborn Baby Into Your Wedding
Since your newborn is likely the center of your life, including them in your nuptials will naturally be an important factor when tying the knot. But given the unpredictability of a baby and their spirited personalities (read: their love of crying), it can be hard to find ways that seamlessly incorporate their presence without having to divert your attention once or twice during your vow exchange. Luckily, with the help of Nickel, we came up with a few ways to tackle this dilemma, as highlighted below.
1. Pose for Engagement Photos With the Whole Family
You don't have to wait until the wedding weekend to implement your inclusion efforts. According to Nickel, you can start as early as your engagement photos. "What if you featured your baby in the engagement photos, or took pregnancy and/or infant photos that you could later put out at the reception as décor?" she suggests.
2. Customize the Save the Dates and Invites
Another pre-wedding idea is to include your child in your wedding announcements and invites. "There are super cute ways to include the baby in the save-the-dates or invitations even," says Nickel. "If you wanted to get really creative, you could play with the wording so that it seemed like the invite was coming from the three of you."
3. Mention or Include in Your Vows
Though your child's options may be limited to "yes," "no," "mama," or "dada," consider having your little one say a few words (or babbles) during your vow exchange. Or, to make things easier, you can specifically refer to your child in your vows instead. For instance, during Alexis Ohanian's vows to Serena Williams, the Reddit co-founder called Williams his queen and added that they already have their princess—their young daughter Alexis Olympia Ohanian Jr. Addressing your baby in your vows adds another layer of commitment, especially for new stepparents.
4. Give Them the VIP Treatment
Some of Nickel's most solid advice was simply this: ensure they're a VIP guest. Any parent will tell you that even newborns have distinct personalities, so anticipating their needs (as one would do for a celebrity guest) ahead of the big day is of the utmost importance. "It's about tuning into your kid to make sure they're comfortable," says Nickel. "Are they going to be okay at the center of attention? Being held up at the front—by a godparent or bridesmaid—with the rest of the bridal party during the ceremony? You can always just have grandma hold them in the front row."
What's more, Nickel further advises that you designate a child handler for the entirety of the wedding event. "At a wedding, there's so much stimulation for babies," she shares. "They're in a new place. They're surrounded by tons of people. Their scheduled routine is all out of whack. This nanny or babysitter can always be ready to take them if they need to be fed or calmed down or whatever it is."
5. Name a Specialty Cocktail in His or Her Honor
She laughs when she mentions it, but Nickel says you could consider naming your specialty cocktail after your child. This works especially well if the name already pairs nicely with words used to describe drinks. "Sweet Melissa." "Arnold Palmer." "Shirley Temple." You get the idea.
6. Snap a Photo and Call It a Day
If all of these options sound more overwhelming than inspirational, maybe don't involve your newborn in anything more than a family snapshot. As Nickel points out, "It's still really great because they'll be in those photos forever, and a part of this huge moment in their family's lives."
The planner also recommends shooting all photos with the baby first and bringing some keys to keep their attention. "Shiny things get those bright eyes and that excitement face to come out," she says. "And again, have your babysitter or nanny there to pass the baby off back and forth."
What's more, Nickel is also a fan of having a baby emergency bag—similar to the idea of a bridesmaid survival kit—though the items and their reasonings might be slightly different. "Little babies do spit up and have diaper explosions, so bring a second outfit as backup clothing," she shares. "Then have the usual baby stuff—lots of extra food, hats, and sunscreen if the weather is something the baby's not used to, and maybe a blanket if it's cold. And did I say snacks? Definitely have snacks."
