Ultimate Guide To Planning Your Sonoma Or Napa Wedding
Woo, hoo you’ve decided to host a Sonoma or Napa wedding, you might even have a few Napa wedding venues in mind already. Congratulations and pop your favorite bottle of champagne! Wine country is legit the most beautiful place to get married. The food, the weather, the vineyard scenery, THE WINE, none of it can be beaten. For sure, you’re going to have a blast saying your I Do’s here. However, there are a few things that you need to know before you start looking at Napa Valley wedding venues, Sonoma County wedding venues, and planning your wine country wedding.
Pulling together a destination wedding can be stressful whether you live just down the road in the Bay Area or a plane ride away in Chicago, after all, you only get one wedding day. Having a game plan ahead of time and the wedding vendors that are the perfect fit for your style and vision will ensure that your wedding will be super fun. And that you remain as stress-free as possible and get to enjoy every moment!
So, let’s dive in!
If we haven’t met yet, hi! I’m Lindsey Nickel and I’m a local Sonoma and Napa wedding planner and the owner of Lovely Day Events. Since 2010, I have helped stylish, fun-loving couples (and their dogs) plan destination weddings. Our clients want the ceremony to be outside, the food to be outstanding, and the dance parties to be epic. If this sounds like you, you’re in the right place, so you might want to learn more about our wedding planning services.
Suzanne Karp Photography
Ultimate Guide To Planning Your Sonoma Or Napa Wedding
Britt Rene Photography
Make a wedding guest list
How to decide who to invite to your wedding
First thing first, make a guest list so that you have a general idea of how many people will be attending your wedding. Will the number of guests be closer to 50? 100? 200? 300? Narrowing down the guest list can be a stressful situation, especially when parents want to invite all the neighbors and cousins you haven’t seen since middle school.
If you’re not sure where to start or how to thin out your wedding guest list, here are some suggestions:
Start a list with you and your fiance. Begin with your immediate family members, then add close family members (like your favorite aunt that you make a point to go on hikes and lunch with). Then move on to close friends that you can’t imagine getting married without.
Establish if children will be invited to attend the wedding and stick to your choice. If you decide to make it a child-free event, then be prepared for people to ask “what about my child?”
Decide early about plus-ones. You don’t need to allow everyone on your guest list to bring a plus one but it is common these days for couples in a serious relationship to bring their plus one.
Questions to ask when making your wedding guest list:
Have you met this person? I know this sounds bananas, but it’s not uncommon for a parent to want to invite a business partner or distant cousin that you’ve never met before.
When was the last time you saw this person?
How close are you to your co-workers? Do you hang out with them outside of work?
Do you spend birthdays or holidays with this person?
Britt Rene Photography
Pick a wedding date - How to pick a wedding date
Most couples that get married in Sonoma and Napa envision a warm-weather wedding and lush vineyards, so weather plays an important role in picking the wedding date.
For couples dreaming of sunny days and a low chance of rain, the best months to get married are May through October.
Napa and Sonoma Weather
We don’t have snow here in wine country, but we still have seasons. June, July, and August can have heat waves and you’ll find yourself reaching for another glass of Rose. However, even on the hottest days when the thermometer is over 100 degrees, once the sun goes behind the hills the temperature drops and is perfect for a dance party. For summer, I always recommend renting plenty of patio umbrellas, providing parasols for the ceremony (easily purchased ahead of time on Amazon), and amenity baskets in the bathrooms that include sunscreen. The cooler months are mid-October through mid-April and you will definitely want a wedding venue with an indoor space for a rain and cold weather plan or a tent with heaters.
Suzanne Karp Photography
Pro tips for keeping guests warm at a wedding:
Provide cute warm accessories for the wedding party. It can be cold taking photos outside during the winter. Consider providing faux fur or pashmina wraps for your wedding party. They'll appreciate the warmth and they look wonderful in photos.
Don’t skimp on keeping your guests warm. If your cool weather wedding is outside, be sure to create warmth for your guests. Be sure to rent extra heaters for dinner, people get cold more easily sitting. Provide blankets, which you can style in a basket, and include a cute sign so people know to use them. Keep the hot beverages such as coffee and tea flowing. You can even order personalized wedding mugs for a coffee and tea station.
Hannah Hardaway Photography
How much does a Sonoma or Napa wedding cost?
The number one question I get from engaged couples is: How much does a Napa wedding cost? Or for couples getting married in Sonoma: How much does a Sonoma wedding cost? Many variables and priorities go into the price of a wedding, so my answer is always “it depends.”
It’s like if someone asked you “How much does a house cost?” You need some more information about the house and might ask questions like: Is the house in New York City or is it in rural Ohio? Does the house have a garage or just street parking? How many bedrooms does the house have? There are a lot of variables that go into the price of a house. Similarly, there are some follow-up questions in order to answer “How much does a Napa wedding cost?” such as how many guests will there be, which wedding venue are you getting married at, and what month are you getting married?
The first thing to know is that Sonoma and Napa weddings are the Whole Foods of weddings. Everything is very nice, the hospitality is impeccable, and the food is outstanding.
A very loose rule of thumb is that for 100 guests a STARTING POINT is $100,000 for only your venue and vendors. This does not include your wedding attire (for example wedding dress), honeymoon, and if you are having a DJ instead of a band.
This is such a popular question and the wedding budget is a very important discussion to avoid overspending (and getting stressed out), so I wrote a detailed blog post, with real numbers answering the question How Much Does A Sonoma Or Napa Wedding Cost?
Arrowood Photography
How to pick a Sonoma or Napa wedding venue
Whether you are looking for vineyard views, a luxury resort, or a historic winery, there is a Sonoma or Napa wedding venue for every guest count, style, and budget. I suggest you dedicate at least one full day, if not two to touring wine-country wedding venues.
PRO TIP: Be sure to schedule an appointment with the venue sales manager for a tour. Their days are filled with hosting events and tours so you will need to schedule an appointment ahead of time. Don’t just show up hoping to meet with someone. Don’t just tour yourself around solo because you’ll miss out on all the nuggets of information and important things to know about that venue.
Before getting started there are two things you need to know about Sonoma and Napa weddings, which most people don’t realize until they start researching wedding venues. First, a winery is not permitted to serve liquor, only beer and wine. Second, the county noise ordinances do not allow amplified music after 10:00 pm, which means dancing can not go past 10:00 pm outdoors. Don’t worry though, many wedding venues have found very clever ways to adhere to these rules and still make sure your wedding is epic.
Milou and Olin Photography
The three types of Sonoma and Napa wedding venues
Winery
A winery is only allowed to serve wine, beer, and sparkling wine (aka champagne). Typically, they have vineyard views that make for swoon-worthy sunset photos. Top winery wedding venue recommendations are:
Gundlach Bundschu winery in Sonoma Valley (one of my all-time favorites) - Top 4 Things To Know About Gundlach Bundschu Weddings
Chateau St Jean winery in Sonoma Valley - Real wedding - Timeless Chateau St Jean Wedding
Beringer winery in Napa Valley
Britt Rene Photography
Resort
Resorts are very appealing to couples because they offer a one-stop shopping experience. Resorts have the venue, catering, and rentals (tables, chairs, linens, etc.) all in-house, which means there are fewer vendors for you to hire and coordinate. My top wedding resort venue recommendations are:
Stanly Ranch in Napa Valley - 5 Things You Might Not Know About Stanly Ranch Weddings
Montage Resort in Sonoma Valley
Four Seasons Resort in Napa Valley
Harvest Inn in Napa Valley - Real Wedding - Super Fun Harvest Inn Wedding
Solage Resort in Napa Valley - Real Wedding - Romantic Solage Resort Wedding
Unique venues
Beltane Ranch (one of my all-time favorites) - Top 5 Things To Know About A Beltane Ranch Wedding
Farmstead Restaurant
Must ask questions when picking a Sonoma or Napa wedding venue
What is your maximum guest count?
Do you allow liquor?
Can dancing go past 10:00 pm?
Does the wedding venue have a getting-ready area for each client?
Does the wedding venue include rentals (tables, chairs, linens)?
What do you have to rent (heaters? lighting? bathroom? generator?)
Does the wedding venue require shuttles for guests or can they drive themselves?
How much is the average wedding budget at your wedding venue?
Arrowood Photography
Watch out for these red flags when touring a Sonoma or Napa wedding venue:
One red flag that couples might not think of is high staff turnover at a wedding venue. If a wedding venue has a high turnover that means that the couple could be working with a new contact every few months and things might not go as smoothly as possible on the wedding day.
When touring a wedding venue, keep an eye out for deferred maintenance. For example, is the glass cracked in a window, or is the umbrella broken at the valet station? You want the property to look its best on your wedding day and your site tour is a preview of that.
Pay attention to reply time to emails and phone calls from the sales office. This will be a good indicator of how responsive they will be during the wedding planning process. It can also indicate if the venue is understaffed and that the salesperson is managing a large load of events.
Be sure to do your research and read online reviews. Past couples are extremely honest in their online reviews and won't sugarcoat a negative experience. Of course, a few negative online reviews do not mean that you will have a negative experience, so be sure to talk to your wedding planner and ask their opinion. Wedding planners have the inside scoop on what’s currently going on at local wedding venues. Be sure to ask your wedding planner what they think the best wedding venues are. Those wedding venues are usually easy to work with, have helpful staff, and extremely happy couples.
If you are looking for a Sonoma or Napa wedding venue, be sure to check out my list of the Best Sonoma and Napa Wedding Venues.
Suzanne Karp Photography
4 Best Tips For Planning A Sonoma Or Napa Wedding
Decide what you must have and what you don’t care about - Maybe you love to dance and attend concerts, then probably a band is a must-have for you. If you don’t know much about flowers, then maybe flowers are not a priority and you can maximize your budget by using flowers that are in season. Talk with your fiance and decide what is a must-have and what you are less interested in.
Do provide transportation, even if your wedding venue doesn’t require it - It’s likely that all your guests will be spending the night since Sonoma and Napa are destination wedding locations. Even guests who live in the Bay Area will most likely be spending the night at a hotel close to your wedding venue. Providing a shuttle ensures that guests arrive on time so that your ceremony will start on time and they get home safely after enjoying a night full of delicious wine.
PRO TIP: When booking transportation, don't forget about the wedding party. Often a smaller vehicle like a Sprinter is a great way to get the wedding party to the venue if they are not getting ready on-site. It can go in two shifts so the couple does not see each.
PRO TIP: Be sure to ask about tipping, gas, and mileage. Often tipping, gas, and mileage are included in the quote, but be sure to ask so that you don't have any surprise costs after the wedding.
Get inspired by weddings you have attended - Think back to other weddings you’ve attended. What did you enjoy the most? Was it the dancing? The late-night mac and cheese? The vintage truck photo booth? The short yet personal wedding ceremony? Keep these things in mind when planning your own wedding. Don’t overthink over pieces like the color of the dinner napkin or which flower to use in the boutonniere, because what guests really remember are the experiences and memories at your wedding.
Add personal touches to your wedding - The wedding is about you and your future spouse, so of course you want the wedding to be unique and unforgettable. Consider adding a few personal touches to your wedding. A few favorite ideas are a specialty cocktail (we’ve had many clients name their specialty cocktail after their dogs), a handwritten seating chart, naming your tables after meaningful places instead of using numbers (at one couple’s wedding they named each table after their favorite place in France), and a creative guest book. For game lovers, Jenga makes a fantastic guestbook. Each guest signs one of the wood blocks.
Arrowood Photography
Top 5 Things To Skip At Your Sonoma Or Napa Wedding
Giant wedding cake
The price of a large, elaborate wedding cake always catches couples by surprise. Instead of a large cake, get a small cutting cake to cut at the reception. Then serve a sheet cake or have a dessert bar for the guests. This way you still get your photo opp of cutting the cake but can save money on not having the large, elaborate cake.
Wedding Favors
Wedding favors usually end up feeling forced, like a pint glass with your names and your wedding date. The majority of favors are usually left behind by the guests. Instead, consider making a donation to your favorite charity and having a few signs made telling your guests. If you really have your heart set on favors, consider something consumable like chocolates or honey from the area.
Champagne Toast
Champagne is not a requirement for toasts. Skip the flutes filled with champagne, and instead, guests can toast with the drinks they already have in their hands. This will save you a tremendous amount of money since guests usually just take a few sips of the champagne and never finish it. The toasts are equally exciting and special with or without champagne, so feel free to skip the champagne. PRO TIP: Still offer champagne at the bar for guests that love to sip champagne.
Getaway Car
The getaway car is great for photos, but couples often feel rushed at the end of the wedding to get in and leave. Plus the couple misses out on saying goodbye to guests. Instead, take the money you would spend on a getaway car and put it toward the bar tab for an after-party.
Printed ceremony programs
Printed programs are the number one unused thing at our weddings. Instead of a printed program, consider a large sign or skip the program altogether, this is also a more green option than printed programs.
Real Sonoma Weddings And Real Napa Weddings
Summer Gundlach Bundschu wedding
Timeless Chateau St Jean wedding
Why plan your wedding with Lovely Day Events?
Hi, Lindsey Nickel here, Sonoma + Napa wedding planner and animal lover behind Lovely Day Events. I’ve been in the wedding industry for a long time. When I started my wedding planning business in 2010, Instagram and Google Drive did not exist (mind-blowing right!?!?). We’ve come a long way since then and I’ve learned A LOT about what makes a wedding beautiful, run smoothly, exceed the expectations of our clients, and leave guests talking about the wedding for weeks after the wedding.
Milou and Olin Photography
Our style is: calm and honest. This is true for the planning process (I will tell you if an idea you have won’t work out or if we’ve never tried that idea before) and on the wedding day (when your wedding planner is calm, it’s a lot easier for you to enjoy the day).
I very highly value our wedding vendor relationships. This means that I can recommend the vendors that are the best fit for your vision, style, and budget. I focus the majority of my marketing time and budget on going to lunch with vendors, talking through business ideas on the phone, and giving a thumbs up to their latest Facebook post. Relationships are so important on your wedding day as everyone is working together as a team. There is no “do-over” or “when we do this next year” for your wedding, this is why an experienced wedding planner with strong vendor relationships is the key to a smooth and beautiful wedding day.
“The wedding was way beyond our expectations (which were high already)! It was such a wonderful, joy-filled, stress-free, pleasant day. Our families and guests have raved about the event and we’ve gotten so many comments about how nice the vendors were.
Lindsey offered exactly the guidance we needed, from helping us select reputable and highly skilled vendors who are also wonderful people like her (trust her recommendations, you won’t regret it!) to little things like helping me figure out what kind of sunscreen wouldn’t ruin my dress or which restaurants in Napa had private space large enough for our rehearsal dinner!
I didn’t have to worry about a thing on the day of the wedding or even the days leading up to it.
Hiring Lindsey was easily the best decision we made.”
