6 Popular Pre-Wedding Events: Who To Invite, When to Have It, and What to Wear
Milou & Olin Photography
Whether you’re having your Napa wedding or planning a destination wedding to an exotic locale, there are many more events than just your big day to consider. While none of these are absolutely mandatory, you might want to explore all your options before deciding which pre-wedding events to host and which to skip.
Check out this guide for all the pre-wedding events you need to know about, discover all the details about hosting them, and decide if they’re the right choice for your wedding.
If we haven’t met yet, hi! I’m Lindsey Nickel and I’m a local Napa wedding planner and the owner of Lovely Day Events. My team and I have planned more than 140 destination weddings, so I can tell you firsthand that wine country weddings are something special. My clients want the ceremony to be outside, the food to be outstanding, and the dance parties to be epic. If this sounds like you, you’re in the right place.
Engagement Party
So this is typically the first party that’s held in your honor as a newly engaged couple. It allows people to celebrate you, announces your engagement to those who haven’t heard, and allows everyone to meet your intended if they haven’t already.
Who Hosts
Typically, parents will host the engagement party. It may be your parents or those of your spouse-to-be. Some couples host their own engagement party, while others have close relatives, like a god-parent, host instead. As with all wedding events, there is not a firm rule on who should host the engagement party.
Who Is Invited
Engagement parties are not the main event, so you don’t need to invite your entire guest list if you don’t have that nailed down yet. Start by inviting close family and friends and you should note that anyone invited to your engagement party should also be invited to the actual wedding.
When and Where?
The engagement party usually takes place within three months of your engagement. You can host the event in a family member’s home, a country club, or a ballroom at a hotel, or take it to a unique event and wedding venue, like those in Napa, Sonoma, or Mendocino.
Dress Code
Your engagement party dress code is totally up to you, but try to match the formal level of your venue. Consider cocktail or garden party attire for nicer restaurants and hosting spaces. Guests and bridesmaids can find appropriate dresses or jumpsuits at women’s clothing boutiques online and filter by wedding events to find the perfect pieces.
Manali Anne Photo
Bridal Shower
This event is usually just for the bride and allows the women to celebrate the bride with gifts, games, and a meal. These days, some people host a couple’s bridal shower, which can serve as a less formal engagement party.
Who Hosts
Usually, a member of the wedding party will host this event. It may be the maid of honor or a collaboration between all the bridesmaids. It could also be the mother of the couple, an aunt, or even a close family friend.
Who Is Invited
This event is designed to be a lot more intimate than most other pre-wedding events, so focus on inviting only your closest friends and family. Expand a little beyond your wedding party and immediate family.
When and Where
Your bridal shower should take place a few months before the wedding. The place is up to you and your host. Since it’s a little more intimate, consider a cozy space, like a restaurant, country club, garden, or someone’s home. If hosting at someone’s home, you’ll need plenty of serving bowls and platters to make eating a catered meal a little easier.
Dress Code
Sometimes, bridal showers have a theme, so let people know in advance and give them time to prepare. If you don’t have a theme, the dress code should be laid back and relaxed.
Manali Anne Photo
Bachelor/Bachelorette Party
This celebration is usually a single night or short weekend trip for the couple to take with their respective wedding parties. While bachelor/bachelorette parties used to be synonymous with a wild night out and a hung-over wedding, today, there’s a ton of flexibility with bachelor/bachelorette events, including wine-tasting trips, fishing trips, outdoor adventures, clubbing, and bar hopping.
Who Hosts
The wedding party will typically plan these events — sometimes, hosting a party in their home. Other times, they may plan activities and transportation to and from the festivities. Usually, the maid of honor and best man take the lead on planning with input from the wedding party.
Who Is Invited
You’ll only be celebrating with your wedding party. You may include a few other people if they’re extra special and aren’t officially part of your big day.
When & Where
Depending on scheduling and preferences, the tradition is to hold the bachelor/bachelorette party the night before the wedding. But in the modern age, it’s more common to have the event a couple of weeks or months before the wedding.
Dress Code
What you wear is entirely dependent on the event itself. A weekend in Vegas dictates short, bodycon dresses and clubwear, while a wine tasting at a Napa Valley wedding venue means maxi dresses and suits.
Sabine Scherer Photography
Bridesmaid Luncheon
This final event for the bride is an opportunity for her to thank all the bridesmaids in the wedding party for their hard work and treat them to a meal before the big day.
Who Hosts
The bride will typically host this event, but the mother of the bride may also choose to step in and host.
Who Is Invited
Your bridesmaids are usually the only ones invited to this special event. You may want to use this time to give them small gifts and tokens of appreciation for helping celebrate your big day. It’s not unusual to include other important women in the bride’s life such as grandmothers, aunts, and siblings.
When and Where
This event is usually held around brunch or lunch the day before the wedding and can be hosted at the wedding event venue. You might also choose to have a private event at a restaurant, hotel, or a catered event at home.
Dress Code
The dress code here can be a bit casual. Consider elevating your look with dresses, jumpsuits, and other formalwear.
Milou and Olin Photography
Welcome Party
The welcome party is a pretty flexible option for celebrating with friends and family the day before the wedding. Some couples only invite out-of-town guests to this event (this is more typical of weddings that are held locally and not many people are traveling in). For destination weddings, it is common for everyone invited to the wedding to be invited to the welcome party. It’s a wonderful opportunity for guests to get to know each other before the wedding and for you to see your guests before the wedding day.
Who Hosts
Sometimes parents will host the rehearsal dinner, and sometimes the couple hosts the welcome party.
Who Is Invited
This welcome event should definitely include anyone in your wedding party and parents, but you have a little more flexibility to add a few other guests you want to thank for their time and effort. This may include people who traveled from out of town or contributed to your wedding in some other way.
A welcome party is different from a rehearsal dinner because a rehearsal dinner is a dinner for the wedding party and families. Another option is to host a rehearsal dinner and then direct everyone invited to the wedding to a bar to meet up for drinks after the rehearsal dinner.
When & Where
Since this event is most likely an add-on after your rehearsal dinner, it can be hosted in the same space. Some people like to host at someone’s house. But traditionally, a restaurant is the accepted venue.
Dress Code
Since this is a bit more of a party event, people may want to let their hair down and get a little more fun and casual with their attire. The venue will inspire the attire for the welcome event.
Milou & Olin Photography
Rehearsal Dinner
The rehearsal dinner is typically held the night before your wedding. This is your final opportunity to thank everyone who has helped make your big day happen, including your wedding party and close family involved in the planning or ceremony. It’s also the perfect opportunity to make sure your custom rings are safe with the best man.
Who Hosts
The engaged couple is responsible for this event, although sometimes parents step in to help. Again, this is a time when you should be thanking your loved ones for their assistance.
Who Is Invited
Your guest list will include everyone who needs to be at the wedding rehearsal, including the wedding party, parents on both sides, and immediate family, like siblings and even grandparents. You may also want to include your officiant and Napa wedding planner or designer to thank them for their hard work.
When & Where
You can host this event wherever you want, but it should occur on the same day as your ceremony rehearsal.
Dress Code
Be sure to consider the location (beach, evening, wine country, indoors, outdoors, etc.) and bring a layer since it will be dinner time. Err on the side of dressy (it’s always better to be overdressed than underdressed), you don’t want to be the guest that shows up in sneakers and jeans.
Gipe Photography
Wedding Farewell Brunch - Post-Wedding Event
If you’re not a couple heading off to their honeymoon early the next morning, a farewell brunch is the final event of your wedding weekend. You should host it the day following the wedding, serving breakfast foods (and some hangover cures such as mimosas and bloody marys).
Who Hosts
The couple should be hosting this farewell brunch as a way to extend the festivities a little bit more and spend additional time with guests who traveled to the wedding from out of town.
Who Is Invited
If it’s in the budget, you should invite all your wedding guests to the farewell brunch, but there are no mandatory requirements. Some couples prefer to host a more intimate farewell, inviting just the wedding party and immediate family.
When & Where
Your farewell brunch should take place in the morning or early afternoon after the wedding. Depending on the size of the event, you may want to invite everyone to a conveniently located restaurant. But if you’re inviting the entire wedding guest list, it might be a good idea to reserve a larger space and provide a breakfast buffet.
Dress Code
Because most people plan on traveling back home or recovering from the rager you threw the night before — farewell brunches should be on the casual side. Some couples even make it a pajama party to create a relaxing and calming moment before the hustle and bustle of getting back to real life.
Now it’s time for the big day! If you have any other questions about planning a wedding in Napa, check out the rest of the blog for more informative articles.
Tess DiNapoli is an artist, freelance writer, and content strategist. She has a passion for event planning, but she also enjoys covering the fashion industry and the world of fitness.
