How To Write Your Wedding Vows

Guest Post by Živa M. Brecelj 

The most famous Chilean poet, Pablo Neruda, wrote the following beautiful words about the love between two people: “I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate than when I fall asleep your eyes close.”

If we haven’t met yet, hi! I’m Lindsey Nickel and I’m a local Napa wedding planner and the owner of Lovely Day Events. My team and I have planned more than 140 destination weddings, so I can tell you firsthand that wine country weddings are something special. My clients want the ceremony to be outside, the food to be outstanding, and the dance parties to be epic. If this sounds like you, you’re in the right place.

Let the wedding planning begin

Neruda's verses guide us on how we should love and be loved. I sent his words to a friend of mine. This was the first thing I did when she announced that she’s getting married and asked me to be her maid of honor. I also asked her if she feels something similar towards her husband-to-be. She said yes. And she said that she loved him even more and knew he loved her so much. Only then I accepted the most honorable compliment - to be her maid of honor.

Vows - an important wedding detail

There are millions of important things that a maid of honor needs to collaborate on with the bride-to-be before, during, and after the wedding. One of them is also reminding her about writing the vows. While I was looking into it, I ran into the sweetest vows from one of the most famous TV weddings and that belongs to Monica and Chandler from Friends. 

This is what they said to each other:

Monica: “For so long I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soulmate. Then three years ago, at another wedding, I turned to a friend for comfort. And instead, I found everything that I'd ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are, with our future before us, and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soulmate, my friend. Unless you don't want to. You go!”

Chandler: “I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever had to do. But when I saw you walking down the aisle, I realized how simple it was. I love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with.”

10 steps to writing unforgettable wedding vows

As I am a person of words, I offered to help my friend with writing her part of the vows. 

These are some suggestions I collected over the years and some of my personal writer's tips:

  1. First of all, you should decide what tone you want your words to have, as well as a length you both can handle.

  2. Before you start writing, think about your relationship. When did you realize he/she was the one? When did you fall in love? What are some of your favorite memories? All those answers will help you to start writing.

  3. Think about the best characteristics of your spouse-to-be. What makes him/her so special? Why do you love him/her? Write it down.

  4. You can also write some meaningful promises. Not many things are more romantic than that! But be careful to include only the promises that are genuine and that you know you will keep.

  5. Be nice to your spouse and leave out any embarrassing or overly personal details. You can spice things up with interesting details but don't say anything you might regret later.

  6. Don’t copy from the list of love quotes you find on the internet. Speak from your heart and with your own meaningful words.

  7. Keep your speech short and sweet. Two or three minutes should be long enough. 

  8. Don't leave it until the night before your big day. Start writing your vows soon after you start with your wedding planning. Practice your speech, ideally by saying it out loud in front of the mirror. You can even ask some of your close friends or family to be your practice audience. 

  9. Write it on a nice piece of paper or print it out. Choose a chic paper matching your glamorous gown.

  10. After the wedding, store one copy somewhere safe. Perhaps in your wedding photo album. You will cherish it as a wonderful memory.

If you think you would need a hand with your writing, you can still get an idea or two from thousands of wedding vows from the web. But remember, no copy/paste will speak from your heart, so just take a hint from it and you will certainly feel the creativity flow.

Živa M. Brecelj is a Slovenian fashion and lifestyle journalist living between Florence and Ljubljana. She is a fashion, jewelery, art and design enthusiast. 

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